


"Ninja Are Fruit; No One But Fandom Cares"

by DigitalGhost



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: F/M, More tags to be added, Multi, Ninjago group chat, cole is a buff boi, cole is squad mom, espicially kai, jay is still a meme, kai and nya both have sass, king of shadows - Freeform, like the canon version, ninjago pilot, sassy kai, sensei wu is also a meme, way of the ninja, zane is my smart son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalGhost/pseuds/DigitalGhost
Summary: Basically a group chat look through the seasons of Ninjago and a good excuse for me (and/or you) to rewatch assorted episodes. They're all texting each other as shit goes down and it's great





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> One chapter for each episode; this is just introducing the chat idea and the ninja interacting,

Tues, 3:47pm

 

_Cole created a group chat_

_Cole added_ _Zane_ _and_ _Jay_

Cole: so i made this so we can bond more as a team

Cole: wu might check it out sometimes so keep your profanity to yourselves

Jay: :(

Zane: It shouldn’t be a big deal, Jay.

Jay: but sometimes you just gotta let it out, ya know?

Cole: yeah. But for now, just chill

Zane: Aren’t we supposed to be training by now?

Cole: he’s right. Lets go

Jay: *anime pose*

Cole: this was a mistake

 

Wedns, 2:16 am

Sensei Wu: WAKE UP

Sensei Wu: I NEED Y’ALL OUT OF THE HOUSE

Jay: snzzzzz

Sensei Wu: GET OUTTA HERE

Cole: why, sensei?

Sensei Wu: ...sensei business, obviously

Zane: How did you get into the chat?

Sensei Wu: Sensei SkillsTM

Jay: youre such a meme

Sensei Wu: GET OUTTA MHA HOUSE

Cole: fine. Team, lets go!

 

Wedns, 1:42 pm

Sensei Wu: mwahaha

Sensei Wu: lets go make a fearsome foursome

Sensei Wu: shit if forgot Ray’s address

Sensei Wu: google maps here we go

Sensei Wu: he lived there?!? Wtf man

Sensei Wu; alrighty wu lets go

Jay: …


	2. Way of The Ninja

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all y'all get ready for some sass

Sun, 10:03 pm

Jay: pst

Jay: pst

Jay: cole

Jay: zane

Jay: i went back to the monastery to get my toothbrush and theres this guy in red pjs talking to himself

Jay: hes kinda cute

Jay: what should i do

Zane: Approach him cautiously, flirt, and eventually get his number

Cole: Hold on, we’ll be there in a few, lets take him out, don't do anything for now

Jay: i like zanes idea

Cole: wouldn’t it be better if he saw you working and fighting as a ninja? Then he’ll be impressed

Jay: good point

Jay: plus listening to him talking is rly funny

Cole: I can’t believe I have to work with this…

Zane: Nor do I, Cole.

Cole: thanks buddy

 

Sun, 10:22 pm

Cole: HE IS SO MUCH STUPIDER THAN I THOUGHT

_Jay named the chat Three Masked-Teers_

Jay: get it? Cause we’re masked?

Zane: Admirable joke, Jay.

Cole: ...i hate my life

Jay: Lol

Jay: aside from cole’s depressed thoughts, lets get this guy

Cole: i hate you

Jay: :))

 

Mon, 7:22 am

Cole: first things first

_Jay’s name has been changed to MouthofLightning_

_MouthofLightning’s name has been changed to ITalkFast_

ITalkFast: it's shorter

Cole: ugh

Cole: now, official business

_Kai has been added to the chat_

ITalkFast: just to be clear, i hate you

Cole: but,

ITalkFast: COLE IGNORE MY EARLIER COMMENTS

Kai: the feeling is mutual

Kai: toward all of you

Kai: im just here cause my sisters in danger

Kai: then im leaving

ITalkFast: YAY

Zane: Shouldn’t we change the chat name, since there are more than three of us now?

Cole: it shouldve been masked-tears for my tears of frustration at jay

ITalkFast: TOO LATE

_The chat has been renamed to EmoSquad_

ITalkFast: for you, kai

Kai: uuuuugh

Kai: shouldnt we be pulling the cart?

ITalkFast: o u rite

 

Mon, 8:34 am

ITalkFast: KAAAAAAIII WHERE ARE YOU

 

Mon, 9:17 am

Cole: great  j o b , kai

Kai: thanks

Zane: Kai, you should know that we are a team, and therefore have to work together.

ITalkFast: it makes doing work MUCH easier

Kai: it makes work faster when i do it alone

Cole: I can see your point, especially when working with Jay

ITalkFast: hEY

Cole: Just… work at LEAST with me and Zane next time, we are more tolerable than Jay

ITalkFast: COOOOLE STOP BULLYING ME

 

Tues, 12:31 pm

_Lord Garmadon has hacked the chat_

Lord Garmadon: Mwahaha bow before me mortals

_Lord Garmadon has closed the chat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, another chapter'll be out soon :oo


	3. King of Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> conclusion of the pilot, jay talks a lot, kai sarcasm is almost as much as his ego, the usuals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ii try to update over the summer but no promises. enjoy

Thurs, 7:36 pm

ITalkFast: ggyus i think someone hacked us while we were out

Zane: Since there was no service available at the Glacier Barrens or the City in the Sky, we shall never know.

Cole: KAI STOP SULKING AND JOIN THE TEAM FESTIVITIES

Kai: I wasn’t sulking, i was pissing

Zane: Goodness.

ITalkFast TMI BRO

Kai: Y’all asked for it

ITalkFast: DID HE JUST

Cole: HE DID

Kai: me dad liked the south, y’all can fite me

ITalkFast IM SWOONING

Kai: why

Cole: ...lets just say his interest in you has reached a peak

Kai: im scared for the details

Zane: Pease, do not ask.

Kai: wasnt planning on it

Sensei Wu: STOP TEXTING AND INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER LIKE REAL PEOPLE

ITalkFast: ow

Kai: fite me wu

Cole: How come he only hit you two

Zane: He appears to favor us over Jay and Kai.

Sensei Wu: It’s true: Cole reminds me of younger me and Zane is too precious to be hit

ITalkFast: too good for this world, too pure

Kai: what

Cole: TEAM, BED

ITalkFast: sleepy time bros

Kai: never say that again

ITalkFast:  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

 

Fri, 11:23 pm

Kai: rerjejwk im tired

Kai: WOW OKAY BYE   
  


Fri: 11:34 pm

ITalkFast: hggmmhm

ITalkFast: hey wheres kai

ITalkFast: Senseis gone too

ITalkFast: ugh, tired

ITalkFast: wait whats that truck thing

 

Fri, 11:50 pm

Cole: Zane, you go right, I’ll go left, Jay, you go on the ground

ITalkFast: i m  a l r e a d y  o n  t h e  g r o u n d  d u d e

Cole: stay there then

Zane: To quote Jay, “get rekt”.

ITalkFast: hEY

Cole: just do your job

ITalkFast: f i n e

 

Sat, 12:01 am

ITalkFast: since my voice is gone, i will share my thoughts in the chat

ITalkFast: gossip time

ITalkFast: ill need to delete this later but it  s e e m s as though cole is gay for kai

ITalkFast: it seems we all are actually

ITalkFast: who woulda thought

ITalkFast: ...whenever i see a tree i think of this one musical with two tree bros

ITalkFast: it was great

ITalkFast: i wanna see it again :(

 

Sat, 12:17 am

ITalkFast: yooo coles screamin on his dragon, gotta take a picture

ITalkFast: actually i got a video

ITalkFast: haha blackmail

ITalkFast: i can barely see a village, we’re so high up

ITalkFast: so am i actually

ITalkFast: but im not usually on drugs, im just naturally high

ITalkFast: WOOOOOAHH DRAGON PORTAL

ITalkFast: bye bye

 

Sat, 12:26 am

_ *undelivered*  _ ITalkFast: ...i don't think theres wifi in the friggin underworld

_ *undelivered*  _ ITalkFast: who woulda thought

 

Sat, 1:07 am

_ *undelivered*  _ Kai: NYA ARE YOU HOME YET

_ *undelivered*  _ ITalkFast: **yeet

_ *undelivered* _ Kai: SHUT UP

_ *undelivered*  _ ITalkFast: XD

 

Sat, 6:13 am

Kai: it's to the west a little bit, right on top of a small hill

Cole: is it that little shack by the water tower down there?

ITalkFast: OOH IS THAT IT

Kai: yeah

Zane: It looks like a humble, modest home.

Kai: uh… thanks?

Cole: we just go with it

ITalkFast: HEY I SEE NYA, GOTTA BLAST BROS

Kai: im her actual bro!!!!! >8[

Cole: this entertains me

Zane: Me as well. :)

Sensei Wu: I’ll be waiting back at the monastery!! Just be quick, I don’t care if the sister comes but y’all have chores

ITalkFast: :(

Cole: we’d probably have to add Nya to the chat then

ITalkFast: :D

Zane: Ever so predictable, Jay. :)

ITalkFast: ZANE!!!! SHOWED!!! HUMOR!!!

Kai: yay.

Cole: are you going to stay with us, we got room for both of you

Kai: sure, we got nothing else to do

ITalkFast: YAAAAAY :D :D

Zane: I am glad. :)

Sensei Wu: GET Y’ALL’S SELVES OVER HERE

Cole: yessir

Sensei Wu: :)

Cole: O_O


End file.
